mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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