I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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