Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
