found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
