lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
