Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
