spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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