Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
