Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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