so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
