He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
