stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Every concussion has its silver lining
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
