You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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