Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
