margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
