you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
