please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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