How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
