Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
