I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
