In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
That's when you crack a 10am beer
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
