My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
operation have a gay friend backfired
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
