trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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