if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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