but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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