is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we're making bets on your personal life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
