He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
