It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
