I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
