You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
