listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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