there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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