We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
