awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
