after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
