scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
