And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
