What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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