butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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