Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
