There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
