I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
