This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
