WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
