Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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