Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
