one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
