You're completely useless in the revolution.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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