Sry I called you an 8
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
