First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
